Time to go where I need to be

The preparations are done. I've had my "breakfast" -- my two blood pressure medications with "just enough water to swallow them," as the surgeon's assistant meticulously instructed. We leave for the hospital in an hour or so.

A big box of books sits in my bedroom for my return, carefully selected. Of course, it's more than I could possibly read, even in six weeks, but it'll be nice to move from collecting (well, accumulating, anyway) books to actually reading them.

The NFL Sunday Ticket app is installed on the iPad so I can watch the Steelers on Sunday afternoon, no matter how drugged I am. Every snap means every snap, baby. And how could anyone who lives in a world where affordable technology allows such a thing be anything but optimistic about the future?

The preparations for the worst are made. But the hopes for the best are the focus today.

I can't leave without saying a huge thank you to the people, dozens and dozens, who have reached out to say good luck and offer their prayers, advice, offers of help, and encouragement -- my great friends of course, but also co-workers, old high school and college friends, far-away family members. It means the world to me. And to my parents, who have faltered in nothing that I asked for, who volunteered for this duty even before we knew what it would entail, and without whom I couldn't do this: There are no words sufficient for my gratitude.

Special thanks in particular to two very special women who have been instrumental in keeping my mental condition in the right place in the last few weeks. The involvement of both is one of those total surprises that God delivers when we need it most. One is a lesson to us all not to burn bridges if you can help it and to remember that the bonds of friendship are often stronger than whatever we do to sever them.

The other knows who she is, and I hope she knows how amazing she is. And that I can't wait to see where this journey takes us next.

To the surprise of no one who knows me, I've built a playlist for this leg of the journey, and it's going now. A sampling: "Right Now" by Van Halen. "I'm Still Standing" by Elton John. "It's The End Of The World As We Know It" by R.E.M. (C'mon, you gotta have a little humor in there.) But the song that is really hitting me these days is Billy Joel's "Getting Closer." It wasn't a hit, and few people other than hard-core fans have probably heard it. It was clearly written as an FU to the managers and scammers who took so much from him when he was a young, naive performer under a bad contract. But the lesson applies to us all: Learn from it, live with it, and grind it out until you get where you need to be. Some of they lyrics:

Though I've lost quite a lot I am still in control.
They can keep what they've got but they can't have my soul.
And if I don't have this all worked out, still I'm getting closer, getting closer.
I still have far to go no doubt, but I'm getting closer, getting closer.
...
If I see it as experience, it hasn't gone to waste.
Lately all the missing places have been falling into place.
And if I could go back and start over somehow,
I would not change that much knowing what I know now.
Though there have been sins I will regret, still I'm getting closer, getting closer.
I don't have all the answers yet, but I'm getting closer, getting closer.
...
And although you will say I am still too naive,
well I have not lost faith in the things I believe.
And if I don't have this all worked out, still I'm getting closer, getting closer.
I still have far to go no doubt, but I'm getting closer, getting closer.

Today is a huge step toward Getting Closer. Bring. It. On.